Frustration

man so my heart has been hurting lately
been feeling like its time to do work
in the sense that its time to do kingdom work
ahh im just tired of seeing people hurting man, its discouraging
like for real its like God is a joke in everyone's eyes
why hurt for the wrong reason

Jerked Emotions

I'm arrogant
the most self-seeking individual
the grandiose jerk
I use you as much as I can
at every opportunity
arrogant because
I position myself to know your heart
self-seeking because
in my quest to know you,
I find out about myself
using you in every interaction
to find the soul, the beauty behind the face

Prop 8

I am the thought of ignorance
the confused
the brainwashed
i am the one who doesn't know why
I want to save marriage

I think its extremely important for people to understand the thought behind prop 8
It does garner some remnants of prejudice. However I am wondering whether there is some legitimate reason for a yes vote.
One thought I found to be reason was this: If I am a Christian, am I not to truly believe that the Kingdom of Heaven is real? If so what about our role here on earth, if that role is to live a life worthy of inheriting the Kingdom then where does gay marriage stand in that Kingdom?

An opposing thought: We inherent the Kingdom only through Christ and hence that Kingdom will not be manifested on earth until He decides to open the doors; not until the body of Christ as whole cries out for that return. Yet still do I need to live a life of holiness? The choice is then left to the individual to serve God; and trusting in Him to lead them to the truth.

So forgive me for voting yes

handy emotions

in love with my hand

my hand
it tells of my most inner thoughts
often my heart beats a different emotion
but my emotions are kept in; hiding itself
my hand
looses those self oppressive chains
and lets my heart be known

because my mouth

my mouth is to scared to tell you face to face
so i write it down and words live in its place
my hand is wondering will its words ever be read
will these emotions be shared with another expressively dead

Olympic Thoughts

I've been watching the Olympics (r i g h t and who hasn't?) and I think I figured out why I like watching the events so much.
What other time can you watch people from all over the world, doing what they are passionate about. Seriously though how often do you find yourself trying to make a living and not happy about it. Imagine a World where people did their passions instead of what they felt they had to do.
Of course you have obligations and you need money to meet those needs; but what about using that money to finance your dreams.
I mean be a champion of your life. Lets get over the stuff that holds us back.
Yadadai mean

added Aug 14
little after thought
it goes something like laboring for the cause; you know like Paul when he was making tents
a skill he used to finance his dream it wasn't his end goal but it was something he used to get to his goal (Acts 18:1-11; 20:32-35)

Small Conversation

God I want to change the world. What does it take to reach a nation, especially one that is not my own
i'm trying to learn to act on my inner emotions
Beware because the enemy will entice emotions to stir you up and steer you away from God's presence

I don't have what it takes
It's not what you can do but what I can do through you, through those who listen and obey with faith that My love is sufficient enough

Sometimes (most of the time) I feel like I can't differentiate between your voice and my own
You are My creation and we are one though the Holy Spirit who has come to be with you in your time of need; listen to your heart of hearts, your deep down emotion. If the thought is motivated by love backed by my Word and beneficial to the Kingdom and its people. Then those thoughts are My thoughts

God I want to experience You.
What you want to experience is something supernatural.
Why do I?
Because you lack in faith

fasting

there is something about fasting that is hard to understand and even explain
when we go without food for some time we start to want,
we start to desire
God is teaching me to desire after him past my own physical limits
its easy for our bodies to feel hungry but it is our inner man our soul that God desires
through Christ i can conquer my flesh

Getting high

So i'm feeling really full in the Spirit right now, (well i was feeling that way when i first started writing this up) and thought I should take some time and explain why. Have you ever wondered why we sometimes stop ourselves from doing things out of our comfort zones. I've noticed that when I'm away from home this doesn't really apply. Or i find myself doing more things where if at home i prob wouldn't. and these aren't necessarily bad things more along the lines of being more outgoing in general; ha even with the ladies cause you know you're prob not gonna see that person again.

yeup its kinda random but i started thinking these things cause I've been listening to these sermons on encountering Jesus by Mike Bickle. He's basically telling how IHOP aka the international house of Prayer came to be. I'm certainly not doing the account justice its best to just hear for yourself. (You can download em on the website if you wish @ ihop.org)

Anyway let me finish have you ever thought why you cant keep that level of iunno adventure/confidence up. r i g h t ima try to get out of my comfort zone more often cause i think more opportunites present themselves. For example on my way home from Illinois they(the flight peoples) were asking if anyone was willing to take a later flight, and the catch was just that it was a later flight but they were offering a ticket anywhere in the US that was good for a year.
No i didn't take it which i am kicking myself now cause i coulda used it to go to an IHOP conference. sry huge tangent.

But yea opportunities are presented way more often out of your comfort zone than within it
Quickly going back to the beginning, Emotionally iunno its just weird cause I want to stay at these high levels but i guess its necessary to come off your Jesus drug cause it allows us to experience want and drive, you know something to strive for, an effort for a relationship to work. i guess a relationship with Jesus is not going to be all ice cream than. interesting no?